wHY WASN’T i INVITED?

Intentionally left off meeting invites or group emails?

This is a form of exclusion that can make you feel invisible or unimportant. It’s a gaslighting tactic often used to undermine your presence and contributions. Remember that your voice matters, and you deserve to be included.

When this started happening to me, at first I passed it off as an omission, a mistake. But over time it became clear it was intentional. There was always an apology if I mentioned it, but I was never added to the invite next time. I was told - I was doing you a favour, I know you have more important things to do. Or, don’t worry, I took care of it. Soon my stakeholders were bypassing me completely, decisions were made about my projects without my knowledge. And I was expected to provide updates and be accountable when things went wrong.

If this is happening to you, speak up. Be very clear about what you need to be involved in and do not take no for an answer. If you know a meeting is running that you should be in, don’t wait for the invite just walk in and take a seat at the table. The bullies fear your assertiveness. They are relying on you to be quiet and not make a scene. Make a scene.