Am i being gaslit?
Gaslighting in the workplace is a rising concern, and the impacts for women finding themselves here are still largely unexplored. Due to the lack of a formal diagnosis of gaslighting, particularly in the corporate world, organisations are often ill-equipped to deal with incidents constructively.
Gaslighting undermines confidence, distorts reality, and contributes to imposter syndrome, burnout, and attrition from leadership potential.
Despite growing public awareness of gaslighting in personal contexts, there is limited practical, research-backed guidance for identifying and addressing gaslighting in the workplace
If you used to love and were brilliant at your job, but recently have been feeling like you’re losing your mind, you may be being gaslit.
If you’re struggling to put your finger on what the problem is, if you’re feeling non-credible or if you are starting to second guess every decision you make, read on.
If you can relate to more than a few of the examples below, and you’re seeing it as a continuing pattern it’s very likely that you are being gaslit.
They deny ever saying or agreeing to something you clearly remember.
They change expectations after you’ve started or finished the work — then act like you misunderstood.
They tell you “that’s not what happened” or “you’re overreacting” when you raise concerns.
They twist your words in a conversation or meeting so it sounds like you said something you didn’t.
TThey exclude you from a meeting or email, then insist you were told or must have missed it.
They quietly remove or change written instructions, then claim you made an error.
They tell you “that’s not what happened” or “you’re overreacting” when you raise concerns.
They agree things with your stakeholders without telling you, then act like you were always in the loop
They downplay or refuse to acknowledge your successes, making you question whether they matter.
They imply your skills or qualifications aren’t valid “you’re new,” “too young,” or “too inexperienced”
They use feedback in a way that feels like nitpicking, making you question your competence.
They claim “others think you’re difficult/incompetent” without giving specifics or proof.
They take credit for your ideas and later insist you never raised them.
They openly support or praise you in public but work behind the scenes to undermine you & make you fail.
They share only part of the information you need, making it more likely you’ll fail.
They drip-feed key details over time, so you can’t see the full picture until it’s too late.
They call last-minute meetings without explaining the purpose, so you’re unprepared.
They change your responsibilities or priorities without following the proper process or discussing it with you.
They only apply formal processes when it suits their own agenda — and ignore them otherwise.
They only promote or reward people who praise them, protect them, or push their agenda.
They avoid leaving a paper trail (no minutes, no follow-up emails) so there’s nothing to refer back to later.
They make comments about you or your work that undermine you but frame them as jokes or banter
They present criticism as “helpful advice” but it’s aimed at making you doubt yourself.
They position themselves as the only one who can help or guide you, creating dependency.
You find yourself apologising even when you don’t know what you’ve done wrong.
You keep replaying conversations in your head to check if you remembered correctly.
You feel the need to document every interaction to protect yourself.
You’ve started avoiding sharing ideas or opinions because you expect them to be twisted or dismissed.
They drip-feed key details over time, so you can’t see the full picture until it’s too late.
You’ve noticed your self-confidence has been slowly eroded since working with them.
If you are currently experiencing gaslighting at work, reading the above may be upsetting for you.
If you notice strong physical or emotional reactions, please pause, take a few deep breaths and even step away and do something you love
If you continue to feel anxious or worried, please speak to someone - a trusted friend, a HR representative or reach out to someone who is there to listen such as the National Bullying Helpline on 0300 323 0169.
You’re not alone.